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Legacy – Passing on Your Family Values

By Randy McKee
www.mckeecompanies.com
Estate Planning Services, 3220 West Main Street, Rapid City, SD 57702

Part One – Introduction to Ethical Wills

By Carol McFarland McKee

In our estate planning practice, we help folks learn about effective strategies to pass along their possessions to the next generation.  What we have accumulated over our lifetimes – our land, homes, investments, and other treasured property – represents much more than just stuff.  It symbolizes what we have chosen to invest in with years of our labor and, in some cases, it also includes what has been passed on to us from other generations.  Making a plan and working that plan to pass along our collection of assets is a very important part of the estate planning process.  There are many considerations – taxes, including federal estate taxes and in some states, state inheritance taxes; capital gains; and income taxes.  There are also concerns for continuity of family farm/ranch operations or another family business.   Regardless of the size of the estate, everyone struggles with fairness among the heirs and balancing inheritances.

Whether your estate is sizable or modest, there is one inheritance that you can pass on to all of your children, grandchildren and future generations, without any worry about government taxes or fair and equal division among all of your heirs.  That inheritance, that legacy, is your family values.  And we pass that on with an ethical will.

You are undoubtedly familiar with the better-known wills of inheritance and living wills—two important documents in your estate planning package.  You may not be as familiar with the concept of ethical wills, but they have been around about 3,000 years!  Ethical wills are an ancient tradition for passing on personal values, beliefs, blessings, and advice to future generations.  They might also be incorporated into or referred to as letters of last wishes.  However, a letter of last wishes can also serve your estate plan in other capacities.  But that is an article for another time!

Ethical wills are common practice in the Jewish tradition.  Much of the writing in this article comes from, among other sources, Barry K. Baines, M.D., in his book Ethical Wills:  Putting Your Values on Paper.  According to Baines, “The Hebrew Bible contained the first tracings of ethical wills, although evidence of this concept may be found in early religious and spiritual teachings in other cultures.”  Genesis, chapter forty-nine in the Hebrew Bible tells of Jacob gathering his twelve sons around his deathbed to pass along special blessings.  Much of the Bible provides examples of ethical wills.  Deuteronomy 33 describes Moses passing on blessings to the tribes of Israel.  The Book of Proverbs provides ethical life lessons and faith-based values from father to son.  In the New Testament, John 15-17 describes Jesus’ parting blessings and advice to his loyal followers.

In these olden times, most people were unable to distribute their property as they wished, but they were free to dispose of “moral” assets as they wished.  Particularly for women, who were not allowed to own property, ethical wills were a way for them to leave any kind of legacy at all to their children. 

As noted earlier, legal wills bequeath valuables, but ethical wills bequeath values.  Another important distinction is that a last will and testament and a living will are both considered legal documents under the law, ethical wills are not.  Another way to think of this is that a “last will and testament” and a living will are legally binding but an ethical will is simply morally binding.

People choose to right ethical wills for a variety of reasons.    Creating one is a way to learn about yourself and to reflect on your life; to affirm yourself and what others mean to you; to put in writing what you stand for; to preserve stories for posterity and tell stories that illustrate your values.  Ethical wills can also provide historical or ancestral information that links generations.  Perhaps one of the most valuable aspects of ethical wills is that it provides a forum to convey feelings, thoughts and “truths” that are hard to say face-to-face.  It may be a good opportunity to express regrets and offer last apologies, to open the door to forgiving and being forgiven.

Ethical wills can help provide a sense of closure and preparedness as we come to terms with our own mortality.  The process of writing an ethical will can be a spiritual experience that provides completeness to your life and it can also be a helpful tool that you leave behind to help your loved ones let go when that time comes.

If writing an ethical will makes sense to you, jot down some notes as to why you want to create an ethical will.  There are specific situations that typically prompt people to embark on the journey of creating an ethical will:   1) You are at a turning point or a transition in your life, such as getting married, a birth or pending birth of a child or grandchild, or approaching the end years; or 2) An event or situation (such as a death of someone close to you, an illness, etc) has given you cause for serious reflection.

Whatever your reasons may be for choosing to write an ethical will, there are several excellent resources out there to help you.  In future articles, I will be giving tips on how to get started and different ways to create your ethical will.

In the meantime, you can find a lot of good information on the internet by doing a web search for “ethical wills”.  For those who prefer to read the old-fashioned way, here are some great books that may be in your local library.  If you find yourself in Rapid City, feel free to stop by our office and borrow one of my books:

Ethical Wills:  Putting Your Values on Paper (2006) by Barry K. Baines, MD

Thanks for checking in. Please let us know if you have a specific issue that you want to have addressed. You can submit it through the good folks at KBHB radio or to us.

You can reach us at our office at 605-721-7519. Randy’s extension is 201 and Carol’s extension is 220. Randy’s email address is randymckee@helloworld.com. Carol’s email address is carolmckee1@yahoo.com.

We are not lawyers, accountants or tax advisors. We do not offer legal, accounting or tax advice. This web site provides information designed to help you understand that there are alternatives to how you choose to plan in various ways for your present and for your future. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, we recommend you consult a lawyer or other competent specialist professional if you want professional assurance that our information, and your interpretation of it, is appropriate to your particular situation. This information included on this web site is provided without warranty of any kind, either express or implied.